THE INNER WORLD

I grew up in a world entirely run by adults. There was nothing I could do but to save myself. The people who offered to me their shelter, their kindness, and their friendship were themselves lost in a grownup's world. By grownup I mean confused, tied up in ignorance having strayed from innocence, having died to the cause of higher consciousness. They were weak in the face of love. Weak to each other. Weak to all others including themselves.

So I guess I'm trying to make it up to myself, to offer myself something that no one else can offer me. I knew it then as a child, I know it now. I've never had belief in others. I've never trusted others with the safekeeping of my best interests, the interests of my consciousness, my wakefulness, my true nature. No one knows what it is inside. No one knows that it can't be won from the outside. To be liberated, one can only do that from inside. One has to close the door to the outside. To walk inside, and to forget what is happening everywhere else. What is happening everywhere else really isn't happening. It's happening outside because it happens inside. Inside and outside doesn't matter in the scheme of things. When you are inside, everything outside is inside too. Only from the view of this inner world can you see reality.

©2008 Brian Kimmel.