Dear Beloved Friends,
I have intentionally made this 'brian kimmel blog' as a way to bring all my parts together, all parts of me that have a voice and feel they need to be heard. Tonight, I have imported blogs from two of my other blogs: Mindful Male Survivor and Musically Aware. As I was reading through the blogs (I have included the whole collection, unrevised) I noticed how much I have grown, and how much has changed in my life, and in our life as a spiritual family.
I have written on many topics that you may find interesting. One blog I have not included (yet) is the Las Vegas Luvs Mindfulness blog, which was the blog for the meditation group I lead called Tuesday Night Mindfulness Group. In the Las Vegas Luvs Mindfulness blog you will find several years worth of entries, that are rather personal and showed a lot of heart--not only speaking about the inspiration from within my own heart, but of the inspiration of the group of dedicated practitioners who met at the Pink House over the four years it was hosted there.
What amazes me is the strength of the sangha (spiritual community from all traditions and all walks of life, including cats, insects and other beings) that pours through. Even though I have written from my own experience, and from my own point of view, it seems like the heart of the sangha is revealed. I truly feel the sense of the community, how it felt to be there, sitting in a circle, feeling the presence of all who were there, and of all who thought about being there, and all who were brought along even when they had no clue they were there. How much a part of my life Tuesday Night Mindfulness Group has played a part in, it is yet to be discovered. I'm sure years from now new insights will be revealed. Really, my time in Las Vegas revolved around spiritual practice. Spiritual anything isn't usually the first thing that comes to mind when one thinks of Las Vegas, I know. But for me, spirituality is the first thing that comes up.
Living in the Valley was a precious gift. Las Vegas really is a place of wonders. Standing on the strip there is a magnanimous energy--one of the brightest cities on the planet--radiating not only the power of billions of lights from lamps and light bulbs, but radiating light from thousands upon thousands of people, visitors and residents alike searching for a deeper place and experimenting with the yearning to find themselves. If we lose enough, if we can lose it all, then there is a potential of finding something rare indeed.
Life posses an extreme magic, much more than the magic that can be presented on a stage. Life brings forth the magic of our humanity. Life brings forth the magic of our humility. Life brings forth the magic of our innermost truth, which happens to be where we also can meet the world. What is the deepest yearning? Is it the yearning to be rich? Is it the yearning to be loved? Is it the yearning to be free from bondage: societal, familial, or individual?
Yearning of any kind means that there is something deeper. Yearning of any kind means that at the root there is something rare and precious indeed--yet to be discovered. If we should discover that rare and precious thing, we should no longer have that yearning, and all yearnings would be quenched.
Fear not Las Vegas taking hold of you. Use its power, its energy to fuel the search for something genuine, something totally real, something totally essential. I have lived not many years in this body, but something inside of me has lived for a long, long time. Time is really irrelevant to the question of maturity. You may have heard that it is not how long one has lived, it is how well one is living that brings about wisdom and beauty. At the source, you are wise and beautiful. Let that wisdom and beauty shine forth, and everything else will take care of itself.
The other day I liberated a fly from the kitchen. I thought in my mind as I watched it buzzing around the refrigerator door that it was looking for an exit. I wasn't sure, really, if it was aware or not of its predicament. And I wasn't really certain whether or not there even was a predicament. But the thought in my head insisted, "Liberating the fly is the best thing to do." Perhaps the fly never wanted to be liberated. Perhaps it wasn't even looking for a way out.
I thought of the many people who have come into my life who I have wanted to help, who I thought needed help, and for whom I took the initiative to help. With all my effort I talked the fly into being still so that I could catch it in a wadded-up paper towel. It obeyed, calmed itself for a split-second and stood still, naked and vulnerable on the refrigerator door--“I got you!”
As I was taking him outside I could feel him underneath my lightly closed palm. A little being with a little, beating heart. I talked with him for a bit as I opened the door with one hand, "I'm going to let you outside. You may not have wanted this, and I'm sorry if it is an inconvenience for you. If you come inside again, someone else may not let you out, but will kill you. So you better stay out."
I'm not too sure if the world outside is better for a fly or not, but at least the killing would be done by necessity--something, somewhere needs the flies nourishment to continue living. If inside, and killed by human hands, then not only the fly suffers, but the human hand who committed the act bears the weight of that act on their shoulders. A little being, but nonetheless a being.
"There you go!" I exclaimed joyfully as the fly lifted into flight from my open palm.
Think of how many flies you have experienced in your life. Little beings, sharing the same air we breathe. Think, then, of all the opportunities in the future you may have to save another beings life from unnecessary death and suffering. If you concentrated just on flies, you could save probably ten in the next few days. Over your life it could amount to hundreds if not thousands. Insignificant--not at all!
The simple act of feeling compassion benefits you tremendously. Studies have been done on compassion and the benefits of expressing compassion on your mental and physical health. Think of all the other living beings you may neglect saving out of fear--Spiders, ants, bees. Have you ever thought, "Maybe this fly is trying to communicate with me. Maybe this fly really wants to be in my company."
I enjoy flies as long as they behave. Flies are notorious for misbehaving when we don't want them to. In my experience, just as I have let go of the neurosis of 'wanting a fly to go away' the fly sits still. Sometimes when I am giving a talk or doing sitting meditation a fly will come and land on my shoulder, or my arm, or leg or sometimes my nose. I have come to enjoy the company of some flies. Sometimes they will be funny and land on my nose on purpose just so I will know that they are there, and that I should be there too. After I become more present, then they will sit on my arm and meditate with me.
It is very nice sangha-building to sit with flies. Little beings who yearn for some of the same things I yearn for. Little beings who are seekers, but don't know that they are seeking. Little beings that are frightened in a world of hostilities, anger and tremendous unresponsiveness to suffering. What flies show me is that underneath the superficial ideas I have about the world, my place in the world, and the worlds place in me--beneath all of it is something vast. Something so wonderful that it can't be mentioned by name.
Wonderful, magical wonders are happening everyday, and are available for you to discover through simple means. Catch a fly and set it free. Catch someone dear and tell them how much you love them. Say hi to someone you don’t know. Greet a child or an animal with tenderness, kindness and friendship. These are all simple ways you can help yourself to be free.
Many blessings on your journey.
Love, Brian
©2009 Brian Kimmel.
Visit my web-site to view updated information about events, products and services I offer: www.briankimmel.com. I am now licensed and am taking appointments for massage in Colorado.
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