No-thingness in Everyday Life

Dearest Friends,

I'm thinking of saying something really special, really important and perhaps valuable for your life. But nothing is really coming to me. It feels like I've been thrown into the world these last few months at Naropa University. For over ten years I've lived like a recluse. Always turning inward. But that inward turning was necessary. If I look at my childhood. I spent a lot of time agonizing over life, day to day activities were so challenging. When one confronts suffering in that way--that life is a challenge--there is a real opportunity for growth. For me, it has been of growth. So these ten years, growing into the man I have become, it took everything to get here. It took a lot of suffering to know what suffering is.

Free Downloadable Talks & Performances
www.briankimmel.com/recordedtalks.html
Coming Soon!

One thing I feel more certain about is: whenever I or anyone else claims certainty over something it is erroneous. There is no certainty. If there is certainty, there is death. If there is death there is illusion. If there is illusion truth is invisible. The question is: how to make truth visible again. What is truth?

I am extremely fortunate to have experienced this life. The other day I went to a concert in town with a friend. As we were sitting there watching and engaging in the performance I realized what a treasure my life offstage is. I have chosen to not run after fame in this life. At least in these last ten years the practice, my own healing and transformation, has been a priority. Where would I be without it?

Music and the stage is all-consuming. It is hard to stop it--to stop the power of words, the power of thoughts; the power of motivation. And that's why the path I am on has brought me so much than what the stage could offer me. To an artist--art is their meditation. But can art bring liberation?

Creating something--art--is mechanical, a mind thing, a cerebral thing. Human beings create. The power of creation keeps us locked into our thinking mind. Once something is created it is transcended by the artist. There is a master working through the art. Art is a power, unmistakably, a power that wills whomever witnesses it to contemplate, to aspire, and to follow its lead. What we can realize is it is the power of mind that creates and paints the experiences of our lives.

When sitting in meditation mind seldom stops creating. Always playing. Always painting. Always singing the habits it has been in for a long long time. Desires. Cravings. Lusts. Wishes. Hopes. Dreams. Passions. Pondering. Admiring. Inspiring. Feeling. Thinking. Observing. And yes, mindfulness. Mind creates, that's what it has been conditioned to do. A liberated mind does not stop creating. A liberated mind creates more, only through the lens of liberation.

But the thing with liberation is that it is only complete when mind is no longer. Then the communication between mind and world is perfected. The perfect symphony is no symphony at all. What my teacher has written, talked and lived is the experience of no-thingness in everyday life. Can you experience no-thingness while sitting on the toilet? Can you experience no-thingness while talking on the phone? Can you experience no-thingness while making love? Cooking dinner? Walking the dog?

For me as an artist, a musician I want the experience of no-thingness, the perfection of no-thingness to be present within my art, within my music. So that means when I play, when I write, when I sing, I do my best to be in no-thing. I try my best to be liberated. My audience, too, is there to be liberated. This is not music to be consumed. This is music to enlighten you. This is music to experience wholly. This is music to enrich your spiritual experience.

I have only realized this a few days ago, so it is quite new. But, I think many people who have been to a show or a talk of mine have realized that my motivation is not about being on stage, writing and performing music for the sake of writing and performing music. My motivation is to free myself and all beings from suffering, and to clarify and enrich the essential no-thingness of all. No-thing is a place of no distinctions, not sameness and not different-ness. Not oneness and not otherness. That's where the practice, where the music and the song becomes experience. And it is about what only you can experience for yourself and help others experience for themselves.

Enjoy!

©2009 Brian Kimmel.

Las Vegas Events with Brian Kimmel and Las Vegas Mindfulness Meditation Group: Music and Inspirational Talks to inspire love, peace and understanding. all events will be at the Pink House in Las Vegas near Cheyenne and Rampart. Please call 702-461-8422 for information and directions. All are welcome: beginners and those who have not been to an event at the Pink House. Cost is by suggested donation $20 each for Fridays Concert Talk and Sundays Day of Rest and Flow. No one will be turned away due to lack of funds. Donations will cover Brian's travel and living expenses. Tuesday Night group is an ongoing group--free to attend--donations welcome.

Tuesday, Dec. 15 / 7-9 p.m.

Tuesday Night Mindfulness Group
Special Topic: What's Schleppin? AND How to Let Go

Refresh yourself! Come for an evening of sitting, walking, lying down and deep listening meditation. Evening will include a short Dharma Talk and guided meditation. Beginners are welcome.

Friday, Dec 18 / 7:30-9 p.m.
Concert Talk for Peace
Special Topic: Waking Up!

Evening Meditation, Inspirational Talk and Original Music for Piano and Voice

Sunday, Dec 20 / 9:30 a.m. - 2:30 p.m.

Day of Rest and Flow

Special Topic: Your Ordinary Wisdom Mind
Sitting, Walking, Lying Down, Deep Listening, Movement and Eating Meditation in Silence.

Healing from Abuse: Footsteps in Freedom, Love and Peace

An article I wrote is featured in the Plum Village community's international journal with a photo of Venerable Direk who has sat with our Tuesday Group in Las Vegas several times and is an abbot of a Thai Monastery in Las Vegas. It is downloadable at the link below. You can also order a paper copy at www.mindfulnessbell.org

The Mindfulness Bell issue #52 PDF is now available for viewing or download on the website at http://mindfulnessbell.org/download_mb.htm

Smiling with Thay

Dear Wondrous Beings,

One tremendous thing that happened these past weeks was the illness of my beloved teacher, Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh. I attended the Colorado Retreat in the Rockies expecting Thay (affectionate term for teacher) to be there. I remember getting out of the car once we arrived and saying to my friends who were near me, “I know Thay is here in a room somewhere getting ready to give a talk.”

Spending Time with my teacher,
Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh

Photo taken at Plum Village, France 2006

Well, during orientation that evening we all learned that Thay was in the hospital with a lung infection and would not be able to attend the retreat in person, but would be following the retreat with us in his heart. My immediate response was that of sadness and grief. After the evening talk many of us spontaneously gathered and shared mindful hugs. There were many tears that evening. I went to my room, but could not sleep. Something was stirring inside of me from a very deep place.

Where is Thay, anyway? Where is this person I call, “Teacher”? Is Thay inside or outside of me?

An overwhelming sense of regret boiled up inside of me. I thought of the many times I took Thay’s presence for granted, feeling a little tired sitting at his talks, or feeling a little bored during our walking meditations together, and even doubting the effectiveness of the practices he was presenting. But in light of Thay’s impermanence, a different picture appeared--that of, how can I see Thay, know Thay and continue walking and sitting with Thay for many years to come? What part of Thay will live on even after the body we see as Thay decays? It is the part of Thay that continues for generations to come that I will have to get to know much better, because it is Thay’s True Nature.

We have a saying that is chanted after offering incense, to open a practice called Touching the Earth. The saying goes like this:

The one who bows and the one who is bowed to
Are both by nature empty.
Therefore the communication between them
Is inexpressibly perfect.

In everything that I am doing, I can see the body of my ancestors--both blood and spiritual ancestors. I am a continuation of many people and things. Likewise I continue in many people and things. In fact, I cannot really be separate from other people and things--most notably, I cannot really be separate from everyone and everything I love, because we are products of similar elements coming together to form a body and mind.

The radical shift in perspective, in practice is to live the truth of our true nature. Live as you are the embodiment of your ancestors. Live as future generations will continue you. We all share this perspective. We all have the capacity to live this way. No one really has to die. No one really has to make friends with birth and death. Birth and death, though they are conditions of life, are limited ways of seeing who and what we are.

The task, then, Thay asks of us, is to smile.

Wishing you a truly blessed Fall,

Brian

©2009 Brian Kimmel.

Visit my web-site to view updated information about events, products and services I offer: www.briankimmel.com. I am now licensed and am taking appointments for massage in Colorado.

Lamps, Light Bulbs and Setting Flies Free

Dear Beloved Friends,

I have intentionally made this 'brian kimmel blog' as a way to bring all my parts together, all parts of me that have a voice and feel they need to be heard. Tonight, I have imported blogs from two of my other blogs: Mindful Male Survivor and Musically Aware. As I was reading through the blogs (I have included the whole collection, unrevised) I noticed how much I have grown, and how much has changed in my life, and in our life as a spiritual family.

I have written on many topics that you may find interesting. One blog I have not included (yet) is the Las Vegas Luvs Mindfulness blog, which was the blog for the meditation group I lead called Tuesday Night Mindfulness Group. In the Las Vegas Luvs Mindfulness blog you will find several years worth of entries, that are rather personal and showed a lot of heart--not only speaking about the inspiration from within my own heart, but of the inspiration of the group of dedicated practitioners who met at the Pink House over the four years it was hosted there.

What amazes me is the strength of the sangha (spiritual community from all traditions and all walks of life, including cats, insects and other beings) that pours through. Even though I have written from my own experience, and from my own point of view, it seems like the heart of the sangha is revealed. I truly feel the sense of the community, how it felt to be there, sitting in a circle, feeling the presence of all who were there, and of all who thought about being there, and all who were brought along even when they had no clue they were there. How much a part of my life Tuesday Night Mindfulness Group has played a part in, it is yet to be discovered. I'm sure years from now new insights will be revealed. Really, my time in Las Vegas revolved around spiritual practice. Spiritual anything isn't usually the first thing that comes to mind when one thinks of Las Vegas, I know. But for me, spirituality is the first thing that comes up.

Living in the Valley was a precious gift. Las Vegas really is a place of wonders. Standing on the strip there is a magnanimous energy--one of the brightest cities on the planet--radiating not only the power of billions of lights from lamps and light bulbs, but radiating light from thousands upon thousands of people, visitors and residents alike searching for a deeper place and experimenting with the yearning to find themselves. If we lose enough, if we can lose it all, then there is a potential of finding something rare indeed.

Life posses an extreme magic, much more than the magic that can be presented on a stage. Life brings forth the magic of our humanity. Life brings forth the magic of our humility. Life brings forth the magic of our innermost truth, which happens to be where we also can meet the world. What is the deepest yearning? Is it the yearning to be rich? Is it the yearning to be loved? Is it the yearning to be free from bondage: societal, familial, or individual?

Yearning of any kind means that there is something deeper. Yearning of any kind means that at the root there is something rare and precious indeed--yet to be discovered. If we should discover that rare and precious thing, we should no longer have that yearning, and all yearnings would be quenched.

Fear not Las Vegas taking hold of you. Use its power, its energy to fuel the search for something genuine, something totally real, something totally essential. I have lived not many years in this body, but something inside of me has lived for a long, long time. Time is really irrelevant to the question of maturity. You may have heard that it is not how long one has lived, it is how well one is living that brings about wisdom and beauty. At the source, you are wise and beautiful. Let that wisdom and beauty shine forth, and everything else will take care of itself.


The other day I liberated a fly from the kitchen. I thought in my mind as I watched it buzzing around the refrigerator door that it was looking for an exit. I wasn't sure, really, if it was aware or not of its predicament. And I wasn't really certain whether or not there even was a predicament. But the thought in my head insisted, "Liberating the fly is the best thing to do." Perhaps the fly never wanted to be liberated. Perhaps it wasn't even looking for a way out.

I thought of the many people who have come into my life who I have wanted to help, who I thought needed help, and for whom I took the initiative to help. With all my effort I talked the fly into being still so that I could catch it in a wadded-up paper towel. It obeyed, calmed itself for a split-second and stood still, naked and vulnerable on the refrigerator door--“I got you!”

As I was taking him outside I could feel him underneath my lightly closed palm. A little being with a little, beating heart. I talked with him for a bit as I opened the door with one hand, "I'm going to let you outside. You may not have wanted this, and I'm sorry if it is an inconvenience for you. If you come inside again, someone else may not let you out, but will kill you. So you better stay out."

I'm not too sure if the world outside is better for a fly or not, but at least the killing would be done by necessity--something, somewhere needs the flies nourishment to continue living. If inside, and killed by human hands, then not only the fly suffers, but the human hand who committed the act bears the weight of that act on their shoulders. A little being, but nonetheless a being.

"There you go!" I exclaimed joyfully as the fly lifted into flight from my open palm.

Think of how many flies you have experienced in your life. Little beings, sharing the same air we breathe. Think, then, of all the opportunities in the future you may have to save another beings life from unnecessary death and suffering. If you concentrated just on flies, you could save probably ten in the next few days. Over your life it could amount to hundreds if not thousands. Insignificant--not at all!

The simple act of feeling compassion benefits you tremendously. Studies have been done on compassion and the benefits of expressing compassion on your mental and physical health. Think of all the other living beings you may neglect saving out of fear--Spiders, ants, bees. Have you ever thought, "Maybe this fly is trying to communicate with me. Maybe this fly really wants to be in my company."

I enjoy flies as long as they behave. Flies are notorious for misbehaving when we don't want them to. In my experience, just as I have let go of the neurosis of 'wanting a fly to go away' the fly sits still. Sometimes when I am giving a talk or doing sitting meditation a fly will come and land on my shoulder, or my arm, or leg or sometimes my nose. I have come to enjoy the company of some flies. Sometimes they will be funny and land on my nose on purpose just so I will know that they are there, and that I should be there too. After I become more present, then they will sit on my arm and meditate with me.

It is very nice sangha-building to sit with flies. Little beings who yearn for some of the same things I yearn for. Little beings who are seekers, but don't know that they are seeking. Little beings that are frightened in a world of hostilities, anger and tremendous unresponsiveness to suffering. What flies show me is that underneath the superficial ideas I have about the world, my place in the world, and the worlds place in me--beneath all of it is something vast. Something so wonderful that it can't be mentioned by name.

Wonderful, magical wonders are happening everyday, and are available for you to discover through simple means. Catch a fly and set it free. Catch someone dear and tell them how much you love them. Say hi to someone you don’t know. Greet a child or an animal with tenderness, kindness and friendship. These are all simple ways you can help yourself to be free.

Many blessings on your journey.

Love, Brian

©2009 Brian Kimmel.

Visit my web-site to view updated information about events, products and services I offer: www.briankimmel.com. I am now licensed and am taking appointments for massage in Colorado.